Biggest thing ive discovered in meditation practice so far is the clear feeling of the present moment . Its like clicking into a perfect groove 

What if its all a lie 

What if i am the fool 

How shall i knoew when its time

To let the grain run through. 

And if i cant let go,

Will you hold me tight?

Are the stars above something different than myself? No chance. Chance, in hell. Hell, hell, hell, where is hell? Hell is delusion, hell is ignorance. Hell is forgetfullness, hell is self hatred, hell is the absence of Self. The self hating illusory self is hell,  Hell is Hell is Hell. 

And the desire to kill myself is the desire of ego. 

And the desire to live is the desire of my ego, and my Self. 

The higher love of things holds true when you notice what comes through. 

Like light, poking and shining through the blinds on a sunny spring day, whispering hints of summer ahead, God, so too, whispers Him through you. 

A touch, a glance, a blinding remembrance of Forever.

I choose present over past, present over future, present as it is all, and all and all. And all in all im all there is and all in all im nothing nothing at all. Its freeing to know i play no stakes, i make no errors, im perfectly perfect, the hand of God purifies my soul. 

What is my soul? Where is it? Is it the awareness which lay behind my thought, or the identity of my heart? Surely my awareness, my Self, my deepest life. I love it as I love another, I kiss my arm so soft.